Thursday, August 8, 2013

What in the world is going on?

So while I'm still having funky cramps and peeing like crazy, the results of my upper abdominal ultrasound came back yesterday from my PCP. I've been diagnosed with a Hepatic Hemangioma which is basically a benign tumor on my liver. So immediately I hear the word tumor and freak out a bit, but the more concerning thing is that this is the second "tumor" that has been found in the past two weeks. I experienced some swelling in my right thigh a few weeks back, I had an ultrasound done to check for clots and an X-Ray to make sure there wasn't anything else funky going on so my doctor diagnosed me with a Lipoma which is a fatty tumor. You know I just turned 29, I'm an emotional wreck with the fertility treatments and now you've thrown 2 tumors at me in the past two weeks. Let me start with the fact that I know that I'm incredibly blessed that they are benign tumors, as I know that there have been plenty of people my age or younger that have not been so lucky. I can't help but worry a bit though that I'm getting these to begin with. To add insult to injury the more that I've been reading about the Hepatic Hemangioma, I keep finding more things that say how dangerous it can be during pregnancy as the extra estrogen can cause the tumor to grow larger and potentially rupture. I just don't know anymore, is God trying to tell me that I'm not supposed to birth my own children? Am I not supposed to have children at all? The very thought of that simply breaks my heart. Everyone gets asked as a child what they want to be when they grow up, my answer has always been "a mom". On the somewhat odd and unexplained side I had reiki done the day before my IUI and at that point my Reiki practicioner asked me if I had any problems with my right knee, I told her no and moved on. The next morning my right thigh was sore and swollen...right above my knee. I had a session again to calm myself down a bit the day I started my period and she knew I was going for an ultrasound later in the week and she said something keeps pulling me to your liver...low and behold now I've been diagnosed with the hemangioma.

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